NO ONE TEACHES YOU THIS ABOUT WEDDING PLANNING…
Did you just get engaged and you’re already feeling overwhelmed? Well firstly CONGRATULATIONS, and secondly I promise you’re not alone. The number one struggle I hear from couples I work with is they don’t know where to start with their wedding planning. There’s so much to remember and so many decisions to make, how do you go about tackling this massive life project that no one teaches you how to plan?
Well today I’ve got you covered, in this first part of my Wedding Planning 101 series, I’ll teach you my failsafe first step that will help supercharge your wedmin hours. This exercise will get you and your partner on the exact same page, and you’ll have a crystal clear idea of what your priorities are so you can hit the rest of your planning with laser focus. It also makes it even more FUN.
Watch the video for the full lowdown (it’s bite sized five minutes long), or read below for the highlights.
START THE CONVERSATION
It sounds simple, but your wedding planning needs to start with proper, honest conversation between the two of you. Notice how I said the TWO of you, not you and everyone else you know. There will be time to include your friends and family later, but this first planning chat needs to be a date night kinda thing you know? Keep everyone else’s opinions out of it for now.
LIST YOUR WEDDING PRIORITIES
The best place to start with your big wedding chat, is to each list out your individual priorities when it comes to the big day. Be prepared for some of these to be the same, and some of them to be different. For example, my husband is all about the logistics, so to him, the flow of the day was super important. He didn’t want anyone to be bored waiting around for food. But my main priority was the visual aesthetic and atmosphere (obvs), so we had to make some compromises along the way to make sure both of our needs were met.
To help you structure this conversation and keep you on track, I made you a free wedding priorities checklist that you can download and fill out for yourselves. It includes some prompts to get you started, because I know it can be hard to think of things under pressure.
Some examples of things you might list as priorities might be: live music, food, being able to invite loads of friends, entertainment throughout the day, an absolutely killer wedding dress…. you get the idea.
Ask yourselves the big questions
When do you want to get married? How long do you want your engagement to be? What season are you imagining it to be? What general atmosphere do you want to create? Again, use your free checklist as a guide, but be totally honest here about your dreams for your wedding.
COMBINE YOUR LISTS + RANK YOUR PRIORITIES
This is the fun bit. Take all your priorities you’ve written down, and each rank them in order of how important they are to you.
Then compare your lists. Where do they match up? Where are the differences? This is the time to chat it out and compromise if you need to, but having everything listed in order of importance to each of you will really help you get on the same page, and create a vision for your day together as a team - which is how every marriage should start don’t you think?
RECAP: WHY START THIS WAY?
Having a frank, structured conversation early on in your wedding planning will really help you set expectations for the months to come.
A clear view of what your priorities are will make decision making 10 times easier, because you can always refer back to your list as it relates to each decision. Does it match up with your priorities? Yes? Great. No? Cut it.
It helps avoid arguments. I know it’s not nice to think about, but wedding planning can actually put quite a strain on your relationship if you don’t communicate and stay in the zone as a team. This foundation will help you do this, and keep you pals throughout the process.
It helps you communicate your ideas to other people in your life who might be helping out with the wedding. Everyone has that family member who tries to help but doesn’t really “get” your vision. The more clear you are on your wish-list, the more effective the help of others will be to you.
BUDGETING. Your new priorities checklist will massively help you with the next stage, which is setting your budget. I’ll be walking you through that step in the next part of this series.
Are you ready? Have fun with it, and don’t forget to download your free priorities checklist below to help you along the way.